People ask Brian and I all the time, how we make our marriage/relationship work. And that’s just it, we put in work. But it’s a choice we make everyday from the moment we wake up to moment we lay our heads down at night together. We’re not perfect; we’re still human, we do fight.
So here are my top 5 tips on what works for us.
1.We put God first.
We believe that God created the two of us to be together for life. So every decision we make is grounded in faith.
2. We put each other first (after God) ALWAYS, IN ALL WAYS.
Did you get that? ALWAYS … IN ALL WAYS. We’re always thinking about how we can make each other’s day better and easier. This principle is in every decision we make; whether we’re deciding what to eat for dinner, what movie we’re watching or what we’re doing on the weekend. Even the smallest gestures make the biggest difference. Like when Brian warms my towel up in the dryer before I get out of the shower, or when he puts water at my bedside every night before bed, or washes my hair when I’m too tired, or makes me a hair tie when I can’t find mine.
3. Learn about each other everyday.
Have a genuine interest in what each other likes and enjoys. When you make an effort to learn about it, it shows that you care. People trip out when they see that we literally do EVERYTHING together. It’s because we put in the effort. I love learning about veterans, hearing their war stories and getting involved in giving back because Brian is so passionate about it. Brian learned about photography the best he could. I mean seriously, from shooting and styling to modeling and even social media planning, he’s really supported me on this journey. He goes with me to meet-ups because he knows how nervous I can get. Watching me do my thing, brings him genuine happiness because he can see in the moment how much joy it brings me. And that’s all he wants for me, is for me to be happy.
4. Have healthy arguments.
Have a “speaker listener” conversation but if the topic is getting out of hand remember it’s ok to step away. Say how you feel and have your partner repeat it back to make sure they understand you and come to a mutual resolution. Trust me it’s hard in the moment but it will bring you both so much closer knowing that you got through the tough stuff together.
5. Never go to bed angry.
I’m not a fan of the phrase “he’s sleeping in the dog house”. No matter how mad I am, I still want to go to bed with Brian. We’ll argue through the night if we have to. It’s not worth the stress of going to bed mad and then waking up feeling the same way because of unresolved issues.
There’s so much more to relationships that I can go on and on about. But these are definitely my go-to’s when it comes to our everyday.
Photos by: Blush House Photography